25 Things I've Learnt in 25 Years
Post-comp blues & thoughts on turning 25
Hi all,
Last week I was feeling slightly downcast - CrossFit Quarterfinals ended last week and I think I was experiencing Post-Competition Blues. I achieved my goal (to place higher in Europe than last year) and then it was suddenly all over. I felt a loss of purpose and didn’t want to be in the gym at all. I trained a couple of times, but it was more about moving to feel good than following structured training. I felt inexplicably sad, and should have written about it but I didn’t know how to condense such complex feelings into the form of words - quite out of character for me.
This week proper training started again, so I didn’t push myself to train when I didn’t want to - instead I listened to what my body was telling me and had a pretty restful week. I want to go into the gym feeling like I want to be there so I’m glad I took the time to recover mentally and physically.
Last week I turned 25 - I’m not much of a birthday person (Christmas is a different story) but it was still nice to celebrate with Ads. Apparently it was my Golden Birthday - it only occurs once in your lifetime as it’s when your age coincides with the date of your birthday.
I find birthdays quite unsettling because they seem to come around so often and I’m pretty sure I turned 19 very recently so I’m not entirely sure how the time has gone so quickly. I appreciate this is irritating because there is always someone out there waiting to retort with “oh please, wait until you reach my age and you’ll realise just how young you were”. And whilst this may be true, I can’t help how I feel - and I’m sure when I reach 30 onwards I’ll be saying the same.
Here are 25 things that I’ve learnt in my 25 trips around the sun:
I am not a people-person. Dogs are great, close friends and family are great too; the ones you really click with, the ones who understand you and accept you for all your strange quirks. But people, in general, I am not a fan of.
London will not always be my home. Born and raised in the city, it was easy to assume I’d only ever live there. I was a London snob - it was superior in its transport, all-day open shops, endless opportunities. I was wrong. Turns out you can outgrow the London life and I have no intention of going back.
Buy the fancy coffee machine. When the choice is bad coffee or no coffee, the answer is no coffee. When a cup of good coffee costs about £4, the expensive coffee machine is worth it in the long-run.
When you’re sad for no obvious (or obvious) reason, Friends is essential self-medication.
Life is too short to pursue one-sided friendships. If the effort is unmatched, let it go.
Staying in an unhappy relationship of any kind does not make you stupid. You can be smart, aware of the facts and still have trouble leaving. Sometimes you just need a glimpse of proof that you can be happy to do what’s best for you.
You can be 25 years old and still never have been to a single wedding. It probably says more about your disposition when, during a mindset seminar, the speaker asks you to visualise the last wedding reception you went to, and the closest thing you can visualise is your Great-Grandmother’s funeral reception.
Old school Rom-Coms are the best movies to exist but you have to be in the right mood for them. Don’t get me wrong, Marvel is great but How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days and 10 Things I Hate About You are works of art.
Having a smear test is not as uncomfortable as a Covid test even though it sounds like it should be (sorry if TMI but also not sorry, it’s just medical)
Children don’t appeal but I absolutely do want dogs. I can’t decide between a German Shepherd or a Golden Retriever so the plan that Ads and I have temporarily agreed on is to get both, but to get the German Shepherd first based on intelligence and have it help train the Golden Retriever.
Finding something you’re passionate about is incredibly lucky, especially when it brings you purpose and happiness every day.
Don’t let go of your other passions just because one takes centre stage - reading fiction, complaining about politicians and watching documentaries about the ocean are just as important.
If in dinner doubt, pasta. It’s easy to make, easy to eat and there’s often leftovers.
Books that grip you in the way that a TV show does are rare; here are the top 4 that I can remember to successfully do so: All My Mothers by Joanna Glen, Apples Never Fall by Lianne Moriarty, The TIme Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger and, most recently, Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus.
I wish I’d known what dyscalculia was when I was a kid because all I’d heard of was dyslexia (which I did not have) and, after struggling to grasp mathematics for years (not for lack of trying), would always insist that I had the numerical equivalent, without knowing it was an actual thing.
If I could go back, I probably would have picked a different subject at university (and at A level). English, History or Classics. Whilst I did not hate my degree and it ties in very nicely with my career path, picking Sport and Exercise Science because you love to train is not a good enough reason.
Anxiety can hold you back a lot. I have been putting re-learning to drive off for too long because I’m dreading it. (For those that don’t know, I have a driving license and so I am legally allowed to drive, but after a 6 year hiatus I am absolutely not safe to). I will book lessons for May.
Being blonde is a lot of upkeep. It’s expensive and time-consuming but as a natural blonde I refuse to accept anything else.
You can be 25 and still not know exactly what makes you ‘you’. Values and morals aside, there are characteristics or traits that I wish I had more of and, on the flipside, less of.
It doesn’t matter how hard you train, it always hurts. When you get fitter, you move faster and bring more intensity. When you get stronger, you lift heavier. It will never be easy, and thank goodness because where’s the fun in that.
Being nice to strangers is great and doesn’t happen often enough. A customer service call I made last week took me by surprise because the lady I spoke to sounded like she genuinely wanted to help me. Everyone could do better with this - one of my pet peeves is people who don’t say please and thank you, whether it’s ordering a coffee, a meal, or whatever else someone is helping them with. (I’d recommend you follow @goodnews_movement and @upworthy on Instagram for your daily dose of heartwarming anecdotes from strangers on the internet!)
When you find a group of like-minded people, it doesn’t matter what the ‘normal’ narrative you get pushed is. You’re not sad for wanting to train hard, eat well, be sober, or stay in on a weekend rather than socialise. Different isn’t necessarily abnormal or wrong.
To build on #22, the same goes for social norms or ideas that a woman should look a certain way. It seems odd to me that ‘muscular’ is viewed by some to be a masculine trait only, and that muscular women are met with ignorant responses (often on social media) such as ‘not feminine enough’, 'that’s a dude’ or ‘steroids’. It’s baffling to me that so many people find it hard to believe that a muscular, athletic physique can’t be achieved by a good diet and consistent training regime alone, and sad for them for not realising what bodies are capable of.
I’ve come such a long way in my sport and I recognise my achievements, but I’m nowhere near where I want to be (or thought that I’d be by now when I started out) and this can be tricky to deal with sometimes. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting I get doubts from time to time, or struggle with comparison, but I’m putting everything I’ve got into it and wouldn’t be doing that if I thought I didn’t stand a chance of achieving my goals. I’m loving the process and although it’s not always easy, I’m feeling driven.
At age 25, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I know I’m very lucky for what I have in my life; the people, the passions, the opportunities. I try not to take any of it for granted.
Thanks for reading! It got really hard to think of 25 things so I hope you enjoy their slight randomness and varying level of sincerity.
Loz x